Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
