remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
