Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
