just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
