Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
