I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
