for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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