I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
