did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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