You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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