why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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