This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize