It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
