Me too!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
