He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
