I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
