I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
