I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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