The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
