I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
