I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
