Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
