I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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