No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
