Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
