real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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