i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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