You made me cry and you don't even care
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Terrible idea I love it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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