I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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