Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
