Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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