My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
