just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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