It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
