Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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