That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
