don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
