Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize