You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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