come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
