do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
