Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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