When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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