So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
