i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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