I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
