we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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