u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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