I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
birth control should be required to get into college
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
