Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize