Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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