i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Randomize
