therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
