Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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