Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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