Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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