sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize