Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
