similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
