If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
