wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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