Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
