you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
