Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
